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How not to write a CV Share

02 May 2012, 15:34

Want to nail that job? Then make sure your CV doesn’t look like this one. 

Job hunting is, for all intents and purposes, never an easy thing to do. For one, you need to make sure you have the necessary credentials and for another, you need to make sure you represent yourself in the most professional manner possible.

Getting your CV right is of paramount importance, because this above all else, tells your potential employer whether or not you’d be worth interviewing.

So in this case, it’s no brainer that after seeing the CV pictured above, we:

1) burst out laughing and;
2) were absolutely gobsmacked

Who signs off their CV with love anyway?

Here’s our list of everything that is wrong with this CV:

Language

Words such as: sh*t, dope and pimps? Definitely should not be used in a professional work document. The only impression you’re giving is the fact that you probably won’t be able to adopt a friendly and professional rapport with clients. If you write like that, then one can only assume that you speak like that too.

Grammar and spelling

“MOTHERFLIPPING CHECK ALL OVER THAT”
•    It’s imperative that you at least know how to write and spell properly.  “Yo” is not a proper English word - unless you’re engaging with your friends in person or on a social networking platform.

•     Capital letters are only used in the beginning of a word. Writing everything in caps gives the impression that you’re shouting at the person reading your CV. And trust me, no one likes being shouted at.

Your CV is not a checklist
“Organizing sh*t? Check”

Please don’t confuse listing duties as a checklist. Your CV is a basic listing of your abilities, not a check list. You can save that for grocery shopping.

Your skills should be listed along with descriptions that should be brief. NB: Your CV is not the only one the employers are reading.

Arrogance
“Forget all the other candidates for Aviary, I am the BEST”

Its one thing to be confident, but to tell your possible employers that you are better than all the other candidates is taking things way too far. The only thing you’re succeeding in doing is sending the message that you’re arrogant.

Remember no one wants to work with an ego maniac. Let your qualifications speak for you.

Format and Closing

“Love Ronald”

A CV is not a love letter.  References should be listed at the end and no informal closings such as ‘With lots of love Ronald’.  You don’t know whose hands your CV will land in so writing this would show just how unprofessional you are. Besides, that’s just weird.

- Women24

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